Saturday, August 28, 2010

First Week Woes and resulting insight

After a week of internship, I have had some mishaps (the intern committee likened it to baseball strikes). I have seen how important relying on this congregation will be. When the hot water stopped working in my apartment and when my tire went flat, I didn't want to ask anybody for help – I usually don't ask for help unless it is absolutely necessary. Well, this time it was necessary. I didn't want to touch the water heater lest I make it worse, and I knew that I was not confident enough to change my own tire. Later I learned that I didn't even have a jack in my car – I had to ask for help.

And yet, as soon as I did lean on others, I was blessed with a gift of grace. I told a parishioner on my way in to a congregational meeting that I had a flat, and she told Pastor, who made an announcement. After that, many people jumped up to change the tire, and others volunteered to fix it. I only had to give them my keys. The next day, another parishioner came and fixed the hot water heater. When I was very new to the congregation and didn't know anybody well, I was showered with love, support, and help. I certainly resist leaning on others, but when I do, burdens are lifted from my shoulders.

From time to time, I also struggle to rely on God. I don't want to ask God for help. I want to be by myself, fulfilling my own needs. I want to be in control. Yet sometimes I realize that I can't do all of this alone. I can't do everything. I can't walk alone in this world. I need to rely on my friends, family, and coworkers to support me no matter what happens. And yet, most of all, I need to rely on God to guide me. I began to pursue this line of work because of my faith in God. Doesn't faith include relying on God? Giving up control may be hard, but it is so worthwhile in the end. Relying on others can be freeing, relieving me of the worst stresses of life. Life in this world is easier when I have a community standing behind me.

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